I'm having so many feelings lately so I thought this could be a good way to share it and I know some of you guys may have been wondering why am I so down lately, why am I so emo, why am I like this and like that. I couldn't really talk about it here because it's a very personal matter but here's something that I could share.

So I'm losing my hope in love, I don't think it really exists or I know that love exists, it does but I don't think it really lasts. There are a lot of things going on in my mind that's keeping me from believing and holding on to love. This sounds so cringey and so emotional I think I'm gonna puke. So yeah, you get the idea of what I'm saying.

But of all the things that are keeping me from believing in love, love still picks me up.

I'm the kind of girl who's very weak with emotions, I've been cheated on maanyyyy times but I still believed in relationships that's just how I am. I never believed that all guys are the same and I truly believed I am gonna find someone who's gonna take care of me and hold me like I'm the most important person in the world.

I think I did, I know I did. That's why this blogpost is purely dedicated to my partner, who's keeping me from going insane these past few weeks or months.

I know you also have a lot on your plate but up to this date, you always made sure I'm okay.

But don't get me wrong. He's not perfect and so am I, we had bumps along the way, lots and lots of bumps and it was messy, it was emotional, it was making me crazy. But when something is hurting me, he made sure that I was really taken care of. Our relationship not perfect but I wouldn't trade it for the world.

My weekends were always genuinely happy because of him, even though he's tired from work, he would go straight to me just to make sure I'm okay. He would sacrifice his rest days just to be with me and let me know that he's there for me. And I am the kind of person who appreciates the littlest things more than huge gestures.

So I wouldn't keep this long because you won't read this anyway. LOL. I know we have a long way to go. Our circumstances may lead us to not believe that love lasts because our life right now is a total mess and it's an emotional torture. My mind is telling me that we're gonna be just like every other couple in the world but a part of me wants to hold on to that last hope, if this doesn't work, I don't think I'll ever believe in love.

"The way you love, it changes who I am. I am undone, and I thank God once again"

Thank you for keeping up with me through all these years, I'm always thankful that God has blessed our broken roads and it led me straight to you. When I'm losing my hope in love, you always remind me of how He loves me and what I deserve. You always remind me that I should be holding on to love.

People used to say that love is not based on your feelings or emotions, but it's based on our decisions, I didn't fully understand that until now so thank you for making me realize that.

That's why I'm hoping and praying that God will continuously bless our relationship and I also know that His grace is enough to sustain us both. It's been working for two years and I do think that He's the reason why we're still together up to this date.

I'm not sure where the future takes us but I'm sure I want you to be my future. So please don't break us, please don't break my trust because I'm 100% sure of myself that I won't break yours. The world neglected us love but I hope we'll find it in each other.

"They say that love is a journey I promise that I'll never leave. When it's too heavy to carry, remember this moment with me"