Dear Dawn,

Hi! It's me, your future self. You may be crying right at this moment maybe because you were spanked by mom, or you miss dad but hey. I'm here. I'm listening. I know there were times when you felt alone, when you felt like you're not important. But you're not alone, and you are important.

I know you don't feel beautiful and you claim yourself to be ugly, that's why when people tell you you are beautiful, you reject it. You never believed. When you did, you became boastful. Well, you are beautiful, believe it or not, you don't have to brag yourself to everybody else, believe me, there is this one guy who noticed you and he loves you for who you are.



Dawn, please don't rush into growing up. I know you might be far from your friends and you keep on complaining that you never liked school. Finish it, you have a great future ahead of you and some people are actually recognizing you for your talents and you being smart. Enjoy every bit of it.

I just want you to know that we're okay. We're doing fine. Life is a mess but it's okay. As long as I have you, and our memories, I'll be fine. I will always remember your jolliness, your quirkiness, your never ending questions, and how overly dramatic you were crying for the things that you shouldn't worry about. I love how you loved your toys like your own child. Every stuffed toy lasted, when they were broken, you never stopped crying. That's when I know you are such a genuine person.



I miss you. I wish I could feel the happiness again when you see your dad, I wish I could experience the joy again of playing outside like it's the best moment of our lives. I miss how we used to dream, how we believed our dreams are going to happen no matter what. I miss you.

It's hard to bring you back to where I am now but I promise you, I will always keep you here. To remember the things that made us happy, I'll keep you safe.

Please don't let the stress of growing up get to you. Talk to your family. Don't be such a kill joy. Don't hurt yourself just because of some guy. Please don't. You'll find the right one someday, and when you're ready, you'll know what love really means.

P.S You'll be fine, trust me,


Love,

Colourpop is one of the famous makeup brands in the United States, their liquid lipsticks are having a huge hype because of the quality and of course, the swatches are to die for. I discovered that my friend is a re-seller of famous Korean and US cosmetics, and I got my Colourpop Liquid Matte Lipstick from her. Her online shop is called beautypop.ph so for you guys residing here in the Philippines, you can get one from her.

It came with a very cute paper bag with the Beauty Pop Ph's contact information

Closer look

Pros:

I just came home from an awesome event and what I could I say? I was really uplifted by this person.

To those of you who are not familiar with Nick Vujicic (which I doubt there are) He's a motivational speaker and an evangelist from Australia who's born with no arms and legs. He started speaking and motivating students through schools and he became famous for sharing his awesome testimony and encouraging people with his famous line, TRY AGAIN.

This event was held in the Smart Araneta Coliseum and we chose to attend the 8PM session. Nick Vujicic was one of the speakers I look up to. I always listen to his podcasts which are very encouraging, you should listen to them too.

Francis Kong started the session. He is one of the famous inspirational speakers in the Philippines. The event started with his introduction and then he started his talk. This is not the usual Christian conference I attend to, usually the event starts with a praise and worship, with a band playing and all. But this didn't which is pretty cool.

Francis Kong talked about how to manage stress, how to take on life, how to take a risk and live your life to the fullest. These are some of his inspirational words that caught my attention tonight:

I apologize if the photos are not that good

"To be successful is an outcome, nothing worth while comes easy."

"Never feel sorry for yourself, it can make wrong decisions"

 "As long as may trabaho ka, may dangal ka. As long as hindi ka nagnanakaw" (As long as you have a proper job, you have your dignity. As long as you don't steal from others.) 

"Never let an old flame burn you twice"

 "Always give more than what you paid for"

"Comfort destroys usefulness" 

"There are instant noodles, instant coffees, and etc. But there is no such thing as an instant success"

So basically, Francis Kong talked about never giving up, and no matter what type of job you have, you must not feel sorry for yourself. Be happy, be contented. Strive hard, dream big. It's never too late to have a brand new beginning. He ended with the sentence "We all have one life to live, live it well. Life is a one time deal, but life on the other side of this planet is eternal."

I love Mr. Francis Kong's wittiness and how he makes everyone participate.


Now for the main event, Nick Vujicic started the session by taking a photo with the crowd. He was always cracking jokes, and I must admit. I was in owe seeing him, the man who inspired me to try again.

The lights were blocking the projector :(

His session talked about never giving up. He shared stories from his past experiences, how he was bullied in school. How he started to speak in schools and being rejected over and over and over again.

When he was born, his parents didn't know why he was born that way, the doctors didn't know why he was born that way, and even Lady Gaga didn't know why he was born that way (he said jokingly)
There are three things that would help you get through life, faith, family, and friends. Those are the most important things you must hold on to.

The whole session, he basically talked about how encouraging other people can make a lot of difference. He also left these questions hanging "Who are you? What do you want? And what are you gonna do next?

Nick's advice to the Filipinos is to Study the word, let it spread as long as we have the freedom to do so. Let every church be united and help one another. Stop putting a fellow Filipino down but encourage them. He was also consistent about encouraging people to visit an orphanage, visit hospitals with cancer patients, change their lives and be a part of their life, it will truly help you appreciate what you have and be more thankful.

This part struck me the most when Nick counted 30 seconds, and said "you have 30 seconds to breathe, 25... 20... That's it. How did you forgive people? How did you love people? How did you serve people? Were you patient with your wife? When was the last time you took her out on a date? When was the last time you did an activity with your kids? Don't just ask them about school, talk to them. Play games with them. 5 seconds.. Did you live your life well? How will you be remembered?"

I almost cried because I have been taking my life for granted. Not appreciating my parent's sacrifice. Buying things to satisfy me yet left unfulfilled. Always being angry with my partner and not appreciating the things he does for me. Facing my phone all day, connecting with thousands of people, yet not having a long conversation with my mom. That really hit me hard. How am I gonna be remembered? I wanted to do something out of the box, but I'm too scared of being uncomfortable. I'm too scared of being laughed at. I'm just too scared! And that's the point of this talk that no matter how hard you failed, you get back up. You can always try again! Never, ever be afraid to fail.

His talk encouraged me a lot and the challenge now is how would I apply it. I couldn't fit everything in this blog post but please visit his website http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org/ and listen to his podcasts if you want to be encouraged. That's it for today, I hope you were encouraged as well! Let me know what you think.

I dedicate this blog post to my grandfather who passed away last week due to a car accident. I can still remember the scene when my father called me with the news saying that my grandfather is gone. I just went, huh? In my mind, I felt like he was just in the hospital trying to get better or something, that someone just exaggerated the news that he was gone. My heart and mind never accepted it.

Me and tatay on my 7th birthday

What went through my mind when I heard the news? Regrets. So many regrets. My grandfather was a tough old dude. He was always the angry one. What he wants is what he gets. But other than that, he was generous and kind. When it comes to his grandchildren, despite everything, he will be there, he used to give me money even when he had nothing left for himself.



I felt like I haven't been a good granddaughter to him. These are my regrets, I haven't even told him that I love him, that despite everything, he was still my idol. That I love how he loves my grandmother deeply. I never got to hug him one last time. The last time he went here, I haven't even spoken to him long enough. I haven't asked him how was his trip, was he tired? Did he want to eat? I can't even remember having a short conversation with him. I did not even greet him on his birthday. I was not able to treat him when I got my first payslip.



I haven't told him how I thankful I am for giving me the greatest dad in the world. During the funeral, those were the thoughts that haunted my mind. While I was sitting there, looking at his coffin, I can still feel that he was there, like at some point he would come through the door, nagging at how I sit like a boy. He would ask if I had eaten, and he would scold me for not finishing my meal. His death was not sinking in, or I just wouldn't accept it.

I haven't got the chance to spend time with him for a long time because of the distance.

His death was a shocker, an eye opener. These words, these tears, no matter how meaningful they are, it still means nothing because he wouldn't hear them. I think I can move on from this, but I will never move on from the fact that I did nothing. I was writing this with rivers of tears, It was sad, painful, but hopefully it will get better.



To my family, the ones that are left, let us not forget the meaningful life that tatay left. Let us not live in pain, but with lessons learned. Let us always recall the memories left from him and nanay. Let us promise to be complete without saying goodbye to another loved one. We may always be together in a tragic way, but at least we were together for a while. In the end, we always regret the chances we didn't take.








For now, we say goodbye to you tay, we will always remember you. Forever. I love you and I'm sorry.

Goodbye, tay!

Can you still remember the feeling when you first recited at school? The first time you stood on stage? The first time you had a crush on someone? Your first relationship? Heart break?

How about when you first entered college? Fresh start, fresh faces, fresh place. The first time you rode an airplane, the first time you traveled. 

Your first job interview? Getting your first payslip? Moving away from your family?

Every first time is exciting and scary at the same time. Just like a roller coaster ride. It requires courage and a positive attitude. You need to live your life  like how you ride a roller coaster. It's okay to be afraid, for a while. Be excited for what's ahead. Be prepared. The most important lesson? Choose who you want to spend the ride with. After all, the ride doesn't really matter, it's who you spend it with. I may not be with someone on my first ride but that's okay. At least I proved to myself that I can do anything, even without someone beside me. We all need to be alone for some time. 

The first part will always be the most extreme or the most scariest. As the ride goes on, every turn, every bump, every loop will be the most fun part. So hold on tight, enjoy the ride of your life. You'll never know what's next, but it will be the best experience! Sometimes you just want to close your eyes until it ends because you're too afraid, not knowing that that would have been the best part of your life.

Step out of your comfort zone, allow yourself to be free, scream at the top of your lungs. 

This product is very easy to use, although there are times that it doesn;t fully cover dark blemishes, or your dark circles which is somehow okay for me so that your beauty won't look too un-natural. This is good for daily make-up but not for heavy pageant or party make-up. It creases sometimes so be sure to set it with powder. It's long lasting so no need to retouch every once in a while. It's good for highlighting eyebrows and it's not hard to blend to the lines on your brows can be easily removed.

So to sum it all up, here are the pros and cons of this concealer:

PROS:

• Easy to blend
• Travel friendly (because of the packaging)
• You can apply easily under your eyes because of the stick's shape 
• Organic (of course)
• Very affordable (295 php only)
• Good for hiding dark circles and blemishes without overdoing it
• Long lasting
• Animal cruelty free
• Eco-friendly packaging

 CONS:
  

• Doesn't have enough shades to choose from so might be too light on those who have dark or tanned skin. 

Rating:
4.5/5

So over-all, this is a good product, more than good I think. It's affordable, very easy to use and it's eco-friendly. I would recommend this to those who are having sleepless nights and wants to look well-rested. I would definitely buy this product again, no doubt on that! :) 

Let me know if you liked this product too or if there are other concealers that you want to recommend or want me to give a review.

Have a lovely day! Thanks for reading.

Finished look:

Cons:

• Has a creamy texture which I don't like because I like it solid if you get what I mean
• It's hard to draw an awesome line on the first swipe so be careful not to overdraw because it might get too thick.

I loved this product but I would still prefer using lovely.me design my eyebrows I'm really sad it wasn't available but I'm still happy that I got to try this one. Their the same but they have some differences, I'll try to get a hold of these eyebrow pencils or Korean make-ups so that I can compare them. So excited to do that!

So after putting on concealers to highlight this is my finished look:

This is the texture when you did not shake it before use, as I've mentioned, it's runny

• The smell. I really don't like the smell
• The oily and heavy feeling after three to four hours
• Doesn't last long enough
• Not non-transferable (annoying cause I get foundations on my phone sometimes, weird)

Rating:

So there you go, over all, I liked this product overall but I wouldn't say I love it and I'm crazy about it. I don't think I would buy it again because I love to try other products as well and I'm not a total fan of this one. I would recommend this to those who wants to learn how to do make-up and have a tight budget. Well for me this is still a bit pricy but it is acceptable though.

Well this product somehow worked for me. Let me know if you liked this product too. :) 

Have a great day!

By the way this is my finished look after adding all my make-up